I was casually deleting my first go at a podcast* when I came across an episode that I recorded with my bestie, Ewa Blaszczak, where I invented a word mid-conversation: BOUNCEBACKABILITY. There was a thread that should be there, throughout the book that just wasn’t there and I couldn’t find it. I wrote an additional 30,000 words and was finished, but something was missing. So, in June 2019, I picked up where I left off in Sept 2018. The ex-gymnast/acupuncturist in me knew exactly what happened immediately and was crushed.įaced with at least 12 weeks of absolutely no weight bearing on my left foot, I knew I was being called to finish. The class was amazing, I was so energized at the end that I decided to throw my body into a round-off (ya know that thing that gymnasts do just before backflips… that.) and promptly ruptured my Achilles tendon. I woke up at 5:30 and went to a kickboxing class. I was ready to go and then the universe said again: It’s time. I started figuring out my new life and business back in the US after 12 years in Europe. I found an apartment and unpacked us by the end of April. I had to close my business in Prague, see my patients in Poland, pack up our lives, close bank accounts, return cars, it was a busy time (always the BEST excuse). My husband accepted a position in the US. Wake, exercise, eat, write, break for lunch and beach time, write, break for dinner, do a prayer ritual, sleep, repeat.Īt the end of 9 days, I had 20,000 words and I was CONVINCED that I would finish the book when I got home. I went for a run, no music, to give my brain time to process, made myself a great breakfast and then spent the next 9 days in a rhythm. I woke up in the morning knowing that it was time. I did a ceremony, I lit candles and asked the spirits to help me create a book that would be USEFUL and helpful to thousands and then promptly went to bed without writing a word. I deleted Facebook and Instagram from my phone and started pouring over the research on burnout - afraid that I didn’t know enough, using this one last thing to stall. I met with my friends and they guided me to the apartment and took me out to get my first (of many) servings of black risotto. Instead of driving from Prague, I flew to Zagreb rented a car and drove myself to the coast. So I was left with a decision - forfeit my vacation and my cheap holiday apartment overlooking the sea or turn it into a writing retreat? In a quick, very last-minute turn of events, my sister stayed home to close on a home that she just purchased and my husband was called to Sweden for an emergency meeting for work. 10 days, the Croatian seaside in a discounted holiday apartment that is owned by a dear friend, and squid ink risotto waited for us. September 2018 I was meant to be going on vacation with my sister and my husband. What will happen if I write a book and it’s not all the things? What will happen if I miss things? And then the universe said: it’s time. He told me that day (and many days since) that I will become an author when I cannot hold the words in anymore - when they come spewing out and my ONLY option is to capture them, or risk death.Īfter nearly two years of blogging, I knew that there was a book inside me, ready to burst out like an alien - straight out of my gut, onto the page - SPLAT.Īnd I hid from it at first. As I poured over his words, I knew I wasn’t ready to author a book - but that someday I would be. It all started with a Charles Bukowski poem that I read in high school.
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